Shredded Ribbons
by Raspberry Tea
Summary: Hotaru's past takes its toll on her sanity. My first attempt at fanfic ^^; Please R&R....


Shredded Ribbons  
By [Morgan Jenkins][1]  
Rated R  


Disclaimer: Sailor Moon does not belong to me.   
  
  
I am NOT crazy. You probably don't believe me, and frankly I don't blame you. There are times when I start to doubt my sanity, too. But that's what SHE wants, because she knows I'm the only one she doesn't have fooled. That sweet face tricks many people, but not me. I know her too well.  
They're afraid of me. That's why they keep me locked up in here. The soldier of death, the senshi born with the power of the planet of destruction, has snapped. The Queen especially is scared of me. Thinks I might hurt her daughter, and keeps me away from my best friend. I have to laugh at that. She's the one the Queen should be scared of. But she doesn't know her secret. Only I do.  
You're thinking "She's only an innocent little girl.", right? That's where you're wrong. She's not a girl, but vessel, harboring something much more dangerous than I ever did. I sometimes blame myself. I should never have given that heart crystal back. It wasn't really hers, anyway. Hers was destroyed. I should have known that I couldn't have killed that entity which possessed me. I merely purged it from my body. And when that crystal was put in her body,.......I don't even want to think about it.  
Do you know what she did? What got me in here? It was one afternoon that I was alone. Haruka-papa had taken Michiru-mama out, and Setsuna-mama was running errands. I was in my room reading a book when I heard noises downstairs. I knew nothing else was supposed to be in the house with me, so I henshined before going to investigate.  
  
There were monsters down there. About thirty five. Youma, daimons, lemures, you name it. I had to fight them alone, but this didn't require the powers of Saturn, so I just used my Glaive as a physical weapon rather than a magical one. I sliced them, stabbed them, and hit them over their heads with it. Haruka and Michiru came in while I was still fighting. Mama fainted and Papa screamed. That brought me back to reality, and the monsters all disappeared.  
  
I looked down, and saw Setsuna-mama lying in a pool of blood. The same blood that covered me and dripped from the Silence Glaive. The immortal senshi of time, one of the three women that cared for me and loved me like I was their child, was dead, and it was my fault.  
  
When I realized what I had done, I screamed. Haruka-papa grabbed me, and I blacked out. When I came to, I was in a straight-jacket. SHE made me see all those awful things instead of my adoptive mother.  
But how could the Princess be evil when her dreams were so pure that they could hide Pegasus? Simple. The evil inside her lay dormant until it could be reunited with its source. So her dreams remained untainted. Did you know that Eternal Sailormoon was pregnant when she fought Chaos? No? I guess she did hide it pretty well. She wasn't very far along, anyway. I guess she only told the other senshi. So, what does her defeating Chaos have to do with anything, you ask? She never defeated Chaos. She only got rid of it for a little while, because all senshi can be reborn. Even evil ones.  
  
You still don't understand, do you? No, I didn't think you did. You're confused why she would make me kill someone, if what I say is true. She wanted me out of the way. She KNEW I saw something wasn't right. When we were all reborn after the fight with Galaxia and Chaos was over there was something different about her. Her vice was crueler. Still soft and childlike, but the innocence was gone. And her eyes. She never looked at anyone anymore, but through them. Her actions were different, too. She was just too perfect. She acted like a lady at all times, so everyone would think she was good. And her emotions were never stirred. Nothing ever affected her She could see I suspected something, and that she had to get rid of me.  
  
I think this was all planned from the beginning. After all, what better way for Chaos take over the galaxy than be reborn as Neo-Queen Selenity's daughter? It's pure genius! I fear for us all when she inherits the throne. I told them when they let me have visitors. I told them all ChibiUsa's dark secret. They didn't believe me. They said that I've been through too much. My other's death, being a cyborg part of my life, being possessed my father's possession and death, and all of my own...... They don't think I could possibly hold on to my sanity considering all of that. But I have!  
  
They never come to visit me anymore.  
  
You have to go so soon? I understand. No, go ahead. Leave me! Everybody else has, so why not you, too? Just please, one more thing.  
  
You don't think I'm crazy, do you?  
  
  
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Thanks for reading! Please review!!! ^_^  


   [1]: mailto:Jane-Lane@webtv.net



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